Dwarf Mama Roleplays

maiyotrolls:

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> Northern Alternian is more familiar to your ears, so you understand him better this time around. Not by much. After stomping your foot, you inhale deeply.

HVAT ÆTLAR TÚ AT GERA?! MOGGA VERJI TÍNI—!!

> Your reply is in your native tongue; a dead language, heavily flawed and eroded by the undertow of time. It’s what you were raised on, and know well.

> Having spoken your mind, you kick up a cloud of dirt at him before bolting in the opposite direction. You run as fast as your twiggy little legs can carry you, finding shortcuts by ducking under the legs of trolls much taller than you. At least you make sure to duck your head… more for their sake than yours, with that pair of meat-stickers on your head.

« What the fuck did you just sa-AY!! »

>OH GOD DIRT CLOD IN YOUR DIRT CLOD IN YOUR EYE DIRT CLOD IT FUCKING BURNS

« YOU LITTLE ASSMUNCHER!! »

>You can only press your hand over your eye, the damp towel still clasped between the fingers. You can’t do anything but watch them disappear as you try to tend to your poor eye.

>That little fucker…

>The next time you see them you’re gonna teach them a lesson.

(Source: dmamaroleplays)

Reblog - Posted 19 hours ago - via / Source with 15 notes
So the skeleton’s missing an arm? . . that’s humerus."
— The worst pun of the night. (via razorthecurse)

(Source: outofcontextdnd)

tagged as → #PETTI THINGS

speedo-roleplays:

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OOoooohhhh Raaaaay.

Listen babe, its cute at work where its expected to be like sexual and flirty all the time but sometimes?

When you’re out in public and just hitting on everything its kinda creepy.

……

> Squint at them a bit, tilting your head to the side, really thinking.

> Hoooow to explain this better.

…?

>You just keep staring at your friend as she watches you and moves her head around. It wasn’t getting through to you at all.

I don’t get it…?

It’s not like I’m hurting anyone!

Reblog - Posted 19 hours ago - via / Source with 18 notes
tagged as → #Ray #ohh ray #Pimpin RPs

speedo-roleplays:

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They’re here all the time because they want to see me. If I didn’t work here, they wouldn’t be here.

And because the burgers are bangin’.

I’m pretty sure Jeeper is asexual though. And I know for a fact Jay is a huge virgin weenie.

Thats why they don’t respond.

Also Ray, babe, I am your friend.

> Cup their little face in your hands and tug them down to your level.

And as your friend I worry about you hittin’ on everything that moves??

You might get hurt one day baby.

> Pat their little cheeks.

And thats an awfully creeper-ish thing to do.

Asexual? Huh… alright!

>Well that was on mystery solved. You proooobably should have asked the poor guy if he was into it, but you assumed that he was here to look at the strippers like everyone else. Well, this WAS a strip joint…

>Nonetheless, you’ll leave him alone, in that department anyway. Still gonna test the waters with the vi-

… Whaddaya mean?

>Whoa where did that come from?

I’m just having fun, and I want other people to have fun too! What’s wrong with that?

Reblog - Posted 19 hours ago - via / Source with 18 notes
tagged as → #ray #Pimpin RPs #slkjfs

speedo-roleplays:

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……..

God bless you for trying to make that shit work, Ray.

> Plop down beside them and spin around in the barstool boredly. You kick your feet out in front of you a little bit and huff.

I’m so fucking bored.

Like I have been all up in Jay’s ass and Jeep’s ass all week and its like what the hell. I don’t even understand their nerd shit but Jay somehow manages to score some pretty decent weed.

So I just get stoned and watch them prattle on about like fuckin…..space and conspiracy theories.

And Mario.

I need more fuckin’ friends.

>You look at the picture a little bit longer, crossing your legs as you refuse to get off the damn counter. Al’s gonna be mad if he catches you but oh well.

I don’t know why those guys are here all the time if they aren’t here for the show… I try to flirt with them and they just scream!

>Pout, those two confused you. But you kept listening to Aziza and letting her continue before you throw yours arms up.

I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND!

Reblog - Posted 20 hours ago - via / Source with 18 notes
tagged as → #'8D' #Ray #Pimpin RPs

speedo-roleplays:

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RAY.

I AM NOT PUTTIN MYSELF NEAR THIS MAN’S DICK. 

HE EXPECTS ME TO BE FUCKIN IMPRESSED AND I AM ONLY MASSIVELY UNDERWHELMED.

DO NOT LOWER YOURSELF TO THIS SHITHEADS-

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Oh shit he texted me back.

…………hahaha he’s pissed. Fucking good. It’s called fucking quality control. 

> Toss the phone at Ray.

Here look at it.

>Snatch that phone out of the air and jump onto the counter in front of her.

>LETS TAKE A LOOKSIE!

>…

HEY I KNOW THIS GUY.

Yeah he’s not that good

Reblog - Posted 20 hours ago - via / Source with 18 notes
tagged as → #Ray #JDFLKSJDFKLS #Pimpin RPs

speedo-roleplays:

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He sent me another. With a winky face emote and failed attempt at sexy talk.

Its really small. No surprise.

I’m going to send him a really well worded critique on how weak his dick game is.

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Hey man he opened himself for it sending picutres of his pee pee to just fuckin’ anybody.

What if I happen to be an art critic?

You don’t just show your dick to art critics and expect them to keep quiet.

>creep your way over to see if you can see the dick pic

How small are we talking here like is it a ‘size doesn’t matter’ small or a ‘i need tweezers to grab it’ small?

'Cause the latter ones are usually the best at oral or fingering

Reblog - Posted 20 hours ago - via / Source with 18 notes

trolldicks:

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hey Perth, hows it goin.

Yeah, I had a talk with her. She’s still confused and upset, but at least she’s starting to question things now. She even asks for things now instead of just sittin’ there waitin’ to be told what to do.

Never thought Iske’s hissyfits would be good for anything but what d’you know, eh? 

How’ve you been, stayin’ out of trouble?

Holy shit seriously? That’s wonderful!

Heh.. Maybe the next time he has a tantrum it’ll get her to come fully around, what do you think?

Of couuuurse I’ve been staying out of trouble~ what do you take me for, some hooligan? 

…Actually, recently I haven’t done anything really fun. I’ve been trying to get some better sleep so I’ve been hanging with Gebo and the old man arcanist.

Have you seen them yet? They’re the two in the teal and gold that work with the magic charms and shit.

Reblog - Posted 20 hours ago - via / Source with 5 notes
tagged as → #Perth #Pimpin RPs

trolldicks:

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>You still feel sick.

>You havent thrown up any more blood since that one day, but your stomach still hurts constantly, and now your muscles have started to feel sore even when you havent been doing any sort of physical activity. 

>You’re starting to get really anxious about it, but you still dont really want to say anything. You dont wanna make Skoll and Amisis upset.

>You were just finishing up your braiding when you saw Routta. Instinctively you just hopped over to him from the hallway you just came through.

ROUTTA!!

>You would have jumped on him if you didn’t notice he looked… down. So you made a clumsy skid to a halt infront of him, but you continued like you didn’t almost rammed into him.

>You did, however, refrain from talking about why he didn’t look good for now. old men have a weird thing about being asked about their health. You may or may not have remembered the “scolding” you got from pestering Uruz about his age.

I heard Ami’s been doing better since Iske’s outbursts! Did you have a talk with her or is she just starting to pick herself up?

Reblog - Posted 21 hours ago - via / Source with 5 notes
tagged as → #hi neil #hi routta #Perth #Pimpin RPs

dmamaroleplays:

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Your name is… waitm why do you carry around a be-

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-…Oh.

leeeets move on.

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Your name is ERIN SIMMONS, and you’ve been told you’re pretty WEIRD. You think you’re JUST FINE, and you’ve been told that by your lavender GUARDIAN GUS, who seems to scare away all of your friends. But you know he does it FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

You don’t really express yourself, making you rather MONOTONE. Instead, your beloved companion DISPLAYS THEM FOR YOU, since you AREN’T GOOD AT IT YOURSELF. Despite your extra energy, your time is spent STUDYING THE ARCANE ARTS. You’re not exactly sure why, however, but Gus INSISTS THAT YOU KNOW EVERYTHING YOU CAN. You’re even preparing for a BIG TEST, but you don’t know what subject it’s going to be on.

When you aren’t doing Gus’s errands or hitting the books, you have very few hobbies. You COOK AND CLEAN, and you’re also VERY TALENTED WITH THE HARP. You also TRAVEL ALTERNIA, seeing the kinds of magic the planet possesses.

Other than that, you AREN’T VERY INTERESTING.

Reblog - Posted 21 hours ago - via / Source with 10 notes
genderofthenight:

Tonight’s Gender of the Night is: a Cool Skeleton smoking a cigarette.

genderofthenight:

Tonight’s Gender of the Night is: a Cool Skeleton smoking a cigarette.

Reblog - Posted 22 hours ago - via / Source with 424 notes
tagged as → #Petti Things

maiyotrolls:

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> You jolt, visibly startled. No, this isn’t what you wanted at all! The big idiot knows you’ve been watching him. Quickly, you duck behind the stall and—

> Wait…

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> WHAT did he just call you? A goblin! You aren’t terribly fluent in the common tongue, but you certainly know what a damned “goblin” is! It’s not the first time someone has compared you to a cretinous little imp.

> And you don’t like it one bit.

> With indignation finally outweighing fear, you curl your fingers over a rock on the ground, and dart into the open where the other troll can see you. You don’t stop to hesitate for even a second before chucking it straight at his head.

>Wait that wasn’t Du-!!

HEY-!!

>You hop to the side, making an immediate downward jerk of your head as your gloved hands clasp over the top. It clunked against the wooden wall behind you, and you look to see whatever it was that came at you after the soft thunk of the unidentified flying object landing on the ground ,no longer hostile.

>A rock.

>The fucking kid threw a rock at you! Who even was this kid?!

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« DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE BRAT!! »

>You didn’t mean to speak the northern tongue, but common was your second language and most of the children didn’t understand it. You would know since you often heard Almsay have to scream at them in the native language to get them to stop playing near the shop.

>Nonetheless, your whirled around to glare at the… boy? Girl? Who cares, it was a stupid wriggler.

« Do you think this is some fun game where you can just chuck stones at adults?! »

(Source: dmamaroleplays)

Reblog - Posted 22 hours ago - via / Source with 15 notes
tagged as → #Gebo #W O W #Pimpin RPs
Anonymous asked: Ah, the great fluff-n-puff of the lower planes returns with his puppet. How have things been, oh demonic Ruxpin-kin?

Ru̧҉xṕ̢͞i̸̛ǹ̢͏-k̸̢͢i͏ń.̕.̶̛҉.̶̨ ̷G͟O̕OD̵̛͝ ̢O͠͠N҉E.̛͢ Í͜’͢ĺ̀l̡͝ ̶̡͟b͏̧͟e͝ ̸̢şù̧r͡e͝͠͡ ̷̕to̡ add͜͡ ̡͘͡t̵̀͜h̕a̛t ͠to̷ ͟t҉h̴̢e ͟͢l̛į̶͘s̸͞t o͠f ͘͜O̢T̵Ḩ͝E̡R̕ ̷̧u͡nd̨͡e͏ŕ̶̡es̢͘͟ti̸̶ma҉t̡͟i͘͟͜o̧͝ņs̶̛͜ ̀o̡͝f̧͡ ̶̡w̷h̶͘a͏͞ţ ͢I̸̡͡ ͘a͏͢͢m̢̛͘.͡

Ho̢w ̸I’̧v͟e̛ b̴e͟én̨ ̀i͢ś ̵ņon͏e̢ ̵o̴f̛ y̧our ̢conce̸rn.̕ ͝I’ve ͠be̷en ̛b̨us͠y͘, a͟nd҉ ̛t̡h͠is͡ ҉blo͘n̛de ͟b҉im͡b͠o ̀hąs̵ bęen p̸ract͞i̛ça͘ll͜y͢ ҉w̡or͜t̴h͝l̷ess͜.̀ ͢She̡’̷s̵ ͠l̨uc҉k͜y̡ įt̨’͢d ͠take͝ t̛o҉o̷ long t̸o ̷t͜rain sǫmeo̴n͞e̕ e̷ls͟e̢, ́o͠th̸erw̧i̛se ̷s͞h̡è’́d̴ b̛e̶ ̀dead̶ ̀lo̴n̛g ̧ag̴ơ.̶

Reblog - Posted 23 hours ago
tagged as → #About Erin #Gus Answers #Anonymous